1. The Healing Wave Seminar Anne E. Bachop, PhD
2. How do we see ourselves and our clients? Discovering patterns CareGiver Sensitive Caring Organized Burned out Client In need Depressed Limited Unresponsive
3. Diligent Caring Hard- working Over- extended Burden Judgmental Sharp Do it all myself Multi-tasker Exhausted Poor boundaries What pattern do I want to explore more deeply True or False? Responsible Compulsive
4. Responsibility and our relationship to it Helpful Dependable Hard-working/Indispensible Having integrity Achieving results Problem-solver Not-so-much Do it myself Judgmental Impatient Over-worked/exhausted Isolated
5. What do I believe True or False? If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. I can do it better than anyone else, so let me just do it myself. I can’t take a day off, take time for myself, etc. There is no time for me! Why don’t they just listen to me. I know what’s best.
6. Exploring Motives for CareGiving Is it true? Is it really true? Should/have to Addiction Judgment Need for love Fear of not being good enough, being less than, looking foolish, attracting criticism Key to transformation For growth Relationship with God/Spirit Measure of success: How much I do for others • For my personal best • To be better than others
7. CareGiver as reflection What we really offer our clients You are a catalyst for transformation Patience leaves time to heal Joy (and life) is in the process Paying attention—what’s here now Relationships and support releases stress and allows us to go deeper Leaving judgments and dependencies behind Clearly defined boundaries Encouraging, not fixing
8. Boundaries When do I give myself away? Unclear boundaries No preferences, confused feelings Working to fit into the circumstances of others Coping and surviving while trying to do it all Let what others say dictate how I feel and what I do Clear boundaries Recognize preferences and feelings in the moment Remain centered while acknowledging what’s around you Thriving and aware of my motivations, intentions, limits I know my own power, goodness and gifts—no comparing
9. Holding Space for others It’s about them Being present: supporting others in their own growth, transformation, success as well as grief, heartache and failure Offering trust: give them permission to trust their own intuition Creating safety: letting others make their own choices and mistakes—keep your ego out of it It is not selfish to hold space for yourself. Anything I encounter I must be prepared to meet in myself first
10. Both/And Holding the tension of the paradox Identify—your choices, and are always more than two! Explore—what, where, how, when. Find a new/larger perspective Integrate—acceptance. Describe your resistance Enjoy—fear stops the flow and creates a story. Excitement (joy) opens up new horizons
11. Rituals Bringing the ordinary into the sacred Breathing with the rhythm of life creates gratitude, hope and connection Creating a Sacred Space allows you to be held by Something bigger than yourself Opening and closing the experience/ritual provides form and substance to our fears To sacrifice is to make holy. It’s an offering, a letting go rather than a giving up.
12. Release Surrender translates into freedom Release what is not yours to do—say NO! Release people and things that bring you down Release daily interactions, ask for what you need, and maintain clear personal boundaries Release your day and name your blessings. Offer it for the sake of the Highest Good