“Fasten your seatbelts”, Barbara told us on the first day of her first large class in Bridgehampton, NY. That was an understatement! My whole life changed through the training, as many of you who are reading this article have experienced yourselves.
When I attended BBSH from 1988-1992, the “new age” had just begun. Initiated by the Harmonic convergence, the world’s first synchronized meditation event in August 1987, this event sparked a worldwide interest in meditation, yoga, the chakras, and healing.
I was led to Barbara’s book by a channeler who told me that the purpose of my life was to become a healer. After this unexpected news, I found Hands of Light, called Barbara’s office, and was personally invited by her to attend the first intro workshop, and then subsequently the four-year training. My class started with 127 people, of which 27 graduated. (Former dean Laurie Keene was my classmate.)
I was barely thirty years old, had never been in therapy, had never touched a body professionally, or had any kind of deeply transformative experience. In my spiritual memoir, Wired for God, Adventures of a Jewish Yogi, I describe my training at the school, and in my later experiences, training as a Kabbalistic healer, with Jason Shulman, a former graduate of BBSH.
As I opened more and more to subtle levels of reality, my consciousness expanded to touch God consciousness/Cosmic consciousness. I began to have a strong yearning for a true spiritual path. I never thought that I would be lead back to the religion of my birth, Judaism or to a much deeper understanding of the chakra and nadi system, through the experience of Kundalini awakening.
By 2002, 10 years after graduation, and with 10 years of experience as a full-time energy healer, I was experiencing the signs of healer “burnout”. I felt exhausted and weary. I started to have medical tests to see if I had the Epstein Barr virus or chronic fatigue. By this time, I had been meditating and doing yoga for years, and had had glimpses of Unitive states, but they didn’t last. I had worked with one teacher who was seductive and abused his power, and felt wary of spiritual teachers who claimed enlightenment. I loved the teachings of Kabbalah, and the Jewish mystical path as taught by Jason Shulman, but despite the spiritual nature of the teachings, I felt stuck, and I knew I needed help.
I prayed for help and guidance, specifically asking for someone who had the highest integrity and could lead me to God realization. My prayers were answered sooner than expected, when I met a realized Swami from Rishikesh, India who was an adept in Kundalini Science.
And so started an incredible inner journey of transformation, which drew me more deeply into the workings of the subtle body, the chakras, and the interface between spirituality and healing.
I discovered that I had a particularly challenging Kundalini rising due to a Jewish past life, in which I had had a tragic fall from grace. In my current life, poor lifestyle choices and a broken heart, had caused holes in my aura that persisted despite the many healings I had received.
Under the direction of Swamiji Chandrasekharanand Saraswati, (Swamiji for short) and Patanjali Kundalini Yoga Care, I received individualized yogic practices for a period of twelve years, which eventually revitalized and repaired my whole subtle body. I share my story, because there are very few accounts of a completed Kundalini process, and there are even fewer accounts written by women. Through my own inner experience I learned how the subtle body is our very wiring for God, but each of us has a unique spiritual path of return, based on our past lives, spiritual lineage and current life experience. Paradoxically, my dedication to my Kundalini practice brought me back full circle, to heal my relationship with Judaism and the Jewish adepts of my lineage.
I wrote my book, Wired for God, Adventures of a Jewish Yogi, to inspire sincere seekers to commit to a dedicated spiritual practice. Through the map of the chakras as understood through Kundalini Science, I share different benchmarks along the journey of what is so vaguely called awakening in the West. I hope that my story of awakening will inspire those who are longing for self-realization, to seek their own unique path. As healers, it is important for all of us to have this understanding of the spiritual function of the subtle body and prana system.
Barbara used to say, “Each person coming to you, even if their complaint is a pain in their big toe, is really searching for God.” I now know this is true, and that all our challenges eventually lead us home.
Dani Antman is an internationally known energy healer and interfaith minister in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been at the forefront of energy medicine and healing since 1992, when she graduated from the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. She was a senior teacher at The School for Nondual Healing and Awakening for over nine years. She is dedicated to helping others on their spiritual path. For more, visit: www.wiredforgod.com, www.daniantman.com